Meet Tom McElman

Resident Feature, Hanover Living, July 2024

By Erin McAvay | Photos by Abbey Knowll Photography

I have driven by the Cardinal Cushing Centers a million times and always knew wonderful things happen there, but I was blown away by the extent of excellence I learned of when I met with Tom McElman, Director of Recreation and Community Programs. The Centers are facilities for intellectually and physically challenged adults and children ranging from ages six to twenty two. The environment was warm and inviting when I visited Cardinal Cushing last month to interview Tom.

Tom has resided in Hanover his entire life. He grew up with his parents, Tom and Muriel, and his three sisters: Maureen, Diane and Julie. He reminisced about a very rural Hanover, lots of horses, constant fishing and biking and days well spent around the Indian Head River and Luddam’s Ford Pond. He attended Sylvester School and then went to Hanover High, which housed grades 7-12. He loved growing up here, so much so that he went on to raise his own family here.

After HHS, Tom, a down-to-earth, casual type of guy, attended Massasoit for two years and then Northeastern University, where he studied Recreation. This major encompassed all that Tom stood for: outward bound, hiking, camping, husbandry and just about everything outdoors. He spent his co-op in Switzerland hiking and climbing. He interned at the Armed Forces Recreation Centers in Berchtesgaden, Germany. He taught skiing and arranged tours. What was supposed to be twelve weeks, turned into seven adventurous months.

After graduating from Northeastern, Tom was hired by Hingham Rec to set up an Adventure Day Camp at Bare Cove Park. The camp included canoeing, hiking, an adventure course and lots of other fun outdoor activities. He worked in Hingham for 4 years. He then started at Rockland Public Schools working with students with severe special needs (his first introduction in working with this population). He was then the custodian at the John Curtis Free Library, a job his mother got him because she was a librarian there for 25-plus years.

He kept busy during those years doing yard work for two elderly women in Hanover Four Corners. Gertrude Sullivan lived in the oldest house in Hanover and Grace Beal lived in the house next to Salmond School. Tom enjoyed helping them out!

Tom also substitute taught at Hanover High School and worked at Cardinal Cushing on the weekend, as an overnight staff supervisor. He sort of fell into employment at Cardinal Cushing…40 years later, it seems like the fall was worth it. Aside from the weekend work, Tom started working with the rec department as a Special Olympics Ski Coach. Soon thereafter, the assistant rec job opened up, which he stayed with for four years. When the director role opened up, Tom jumped on it and has been doing that for 35 years and he loves everything about it: the students, the staff, the organization, the proximity to home.

In the early 90’s, Tom met MaryEllen Nevins from Quincy, a residential worker at Cardinal Cushing. Sparks flew and the two were married in 1996, after a memorable proposal during a hurricane in St. Martin. Their love was strong; they stayed very busy and enjoyed their time together. It didn’t take long for MaryEllen to start enjoying the outdoors like Tom did. They went on to have two daughters, Emily and Hannah, and continued raising their girls in Hanover.

Unfortunately, life tested the McElman family. After an eight-year-hard-fought battle with cancer, MaryEllen passed away in 2014. It was a hard time, especially as the girls were only 15 and 17. The staff at Cardinal Cushing helped Tom tremendously and St. Mary’s was beyond supportive. Tom went on to say that the Life Teen Program at the Church was so instrumental in the girls healing. Faith was influential in managing their grief. The town of Hanover in general was amazing. Meals were delivered, rides were offered, and prayers were sent.

The McElmans, and their dog Nelson, kept pushing and growing together. They traveled to places like Venice Beach and Africa, where they enjoyed an African Safari. They kept hiking and camping, despite missing the glue of their family. Hannah went on to Roger Williams and Emily went to Lasalle College; both girls found their grooves. Emily is now an Art teacher at Cardinal Cushing and Hannah is an ESL teacher in New Bedford. And excitingly, Emily is getting married to Nicole Apicella, in September of 2025. Hannah is dating a man named Connor Anderson. Tom is thrilled to watch his girls come into their own as adults and knows MaryEllen is proud of them.

Now back to the role of Recreational Director at Cardinal Cushing. This rewarding role has many facets. Tom coordinates all social activities for approximately 38 residential students and 50-day students. The school is run like a public school in that it offers many of the same seasonal sports and activities, such as cheer, soccer, basketball and flag football. The pool is a big hit for the residents as well as the challenge course.

Tom also coordinates adult services for the intellectual disability community, of all ages. He smiled as he told me about the adult bowling league he runs. This is a phenomenal experience for students, adults and parents, as well as Hanover residents. The Opportunities provided by Tom and his staff allow the most beautiful moments. It is because of Tom’s compassion, tenacity and kind heartedness that these events succeed.

Tom will keep working hard and encouraging all people with disabilities, even if not a student, to participate in all the offered programs. He would like school break programs to continue to flourish as well as rec programs and day trips. He is available to reach out to if the community would like to rent the gym. Currently, he works with local basketball teams, the Lutheran Church and Rugby teams to utilize their facilities.

Tom proudly explained some of the events that are run; one event especially stood out: the Cardinal Cushing Prom held on June 12, 2024. Pride swept across Tom’s face as he spoke of it. HKS Clydesdales of Duxbury carried the students to the door in style. Giving the Glam of Norwood so generously outfitted the seniors with custom tuxedos and gowns and awesomely enough, the students got to keep their new fancy clothes after the event! The Glam Squad visited the Center before the dance and helped with hair and nails. Montilios provided food for the evening. What a night and Tom was an integral part.

Tom McElman is a man of integrity doing special work. He loves to hike, camp, canoe, cook, grill, watch football and basketball and ski. Many happy moments are spent at Loon Mountain. Spending time with his beloved daughters is amongst his favorite things though. The Franciscan values of Cardinal Cushing resonate with Tom. He loves to help people, a major reason he has stayed in his role for 40 years. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff and is quite aware that life is short. He is living his life as best as can be! Many people are incredibly grateful for Tom!

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A very special thank you to Laurie Dannison, publisher of Hanover Living Magazine, for the wonderful article and for allowing the Cushing Center to republish the full text for our readers. You can find a hard copy of this and all Hanover Living magazine issues at Hanover’s John Curtis Free Library.